Adoption is an amazing gift that a birth mother gives to a family. In this selfless act, she is giving a piece of herself to another family and is providing her child a future that she may not be able to offer. It is a gift that adoptive parents can never repay. It can be hard to fully grasp the emotional struggle of the birth mom. With that in mind, it is important to know how to support a birth mom after their child has been placed.
- Communication – The level of communication depends upon the terms of the adoption agreement. If it is an open adoption, it is crucial to keep the birth mom updated on the child’s progress. Let her know not only what the child is doing, but also how the child is doing.
- Keep to the terms of the agreement – Don’t shut out the birth mom during the hard or hectic times. Stay open with her about what is happening in your family dynamic and make communication with her a priority.
- Let her know you appreciate her – Despite what the birth mom knows is in the best interest of her child, it can be very difficult to let go of the precious one that she carried with her for 9 months. Tell the birth mom that she is loved and that you are appreciative of her sacrifice.
- Care for the child – The most important thing to a birth mother is knowing that she made the right choice. This means that her child is being cared for with every fiber of your being. Let her know that this child’s wellbeing is your number one priority. Knowing that her child is safe, happy, and loved.
- Healing is her responsibility – It is important to support the birth mother, but the healing process is something she has to go through herself and in her own time. It is okay for her to feel sad and mourn the loss she is going through in giving up her child. Validate those feelings, but let them be her own.